Have you ever craved the presence of someone; someone you may not even know yet, but all you do know is that they are out there, trudging through each day, unconsciously finding their way to you?
You don’t need them romantically. You just need them to look at the stars each night and know that they will still be there when the sun rises. You need them to send you texts saying, “Give me a call if you aren’t able to sleep, I’m here for you.” You need them to get you ice cream when you tell them that the period cramps are becoming unbearable. You need them to brew you your favourite coffee as they try to remind you why you are still alive.
You need them to fall for the person you are, not the one you have the potential to become. They will know you are a jigsaw puzzle piece desperately trying to fit haphazardly within the frame that the world is for you, and that they are only the collateral damage. But they will stay. They will know that grace is not poised on your lips, and poison seeps beneath your skin, but they shall stay and sing you your favourite lullabies until you fall asleep. They will have you believe in the parallel brink of reality and will jolt you out from the fading episodic darkness.
They will know you better than you think you know yourself. They will know that you go way beyond being your father’s clone or your mother’s failed lesson in history. They will make space for your habits. They will love you despite your hands that are stained from the blood of the people you loved; scarred from the broken edges of your skin.
They know that you don’t want to fall in love. They know that you are not ready for another relationship; definitely not ready for being stabbed in your heart, yet again. But they will wait, silently. Silently, knowing that you won’t ever fall in love with them, but hoping you just might.