Regrets

You are off chasing stardust as I am terminally grounded here,
All that glittered returned to rust,
And love lives only in yesteryear.

I always dreamt of getting drunk at midnight and kissing till our lips burn. But what really burned was my heart. Cupid shot my dead in the chest and my heart hasn’t recovered from it yet. Even though you’ve been long gone.

I’d sit up all night and stare at the heavens just trying to observe the night sky – a vague representation of you.

The way you loved me wrenched my insides faster than heroin, cigarettes and whisky. I was just a raindrop and you were the entire fucking storm. You had a gentle way but in your eyes were dragons, waiting to be unleashed. I should have let them sleep. But I woke them and they broke me. They engulfed me in their heavenly toxins and filled my heart with overflowing memories.

But I’m more than done with you. I am tired of chasing you and getting nothing in return. From the bottom of my battered heart I thank you for showing me what a goddamn tragedy our love was. And while you spend the rest of your life in someone else’s bed trying to make yourself feel better about hurting me I want you to remember all the promised you never me. I want you to forget to regret and forget to cry and forget to remember everything we never had.

I deserve more than broken promises and half loves. I deserve more than someone who doesn’t know how to stay. I deserve the very best of someone and if they cannot give it to me, then they do not deserve the very best of me.

My regret wasn’t loving you. It was giving the right piece of me to the wrong person.

~Ritika