Chaos & Catastrophe

Riding shotgun in a stranger’s car; going at 100 mph down a freeway. In complete silence. What is there to say? I don’t know him; he doesn’t know me. But the sad part here is that, in view of the current scenario, even I don’t know myself. He knows what he wants and I know it too. But for goodness’ sake we’ll call it ‘movies with dinner’, and for mine, a desperate need for escape.

It’s like there is this universe inside my head waiting to find an outlet, but when I open my mouth, nothing comes out of it. It’s like a stormy ocean inside my chest; a thud so hard against my chest that I’m sure it’s about to shatter. It’s like all of a sudden the world is bearing too much on my shoulder. Every cry, every heartbreak multiplied by a thousand, ringing in my ears.

But when his hand crawls up my thigh, I know it’s eventually going to be another memory I will have to run from. Shut my eyes to. Choking back tears, taking a deep breath, I reach for the bottle knowing that maybe it’s the only thing that is going to make me okay.




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